An alcoholic may not necessarily wander down the street with a bottle.
In most cases, such a person has a home to return to after work. But the trouble is that he drinks more and more every day, and thinks less and less of his loved ones.
Life with an alcoholic can be simply unbearable. Unfortunately, a drinking person not only degrades himself, but also destroys the lives of people close to him. The most correct and simplest thing is not to live with an alcoholic. But, unfortunately, due to certain circumstances, women endure their drinking husbands for decades.
How self destruction occurs
Accepting the task of helping a loved one to quit drinking, in no case should you forget about yourself. In order to live with an alcoholic, you must first of all have strong nerves. Constantly being afraid of his breakdowns and drunken antics is extremely harmful.
You should try to protect yourself from communication with a man at this time. Unfortunately, if you force an alcoholic to visit a narcologist or secretly add anti-alcohol drops to his drink, such actions will not give the desired effect.
Paradoxical as it may seem, a woman, when asked “why she doesn’t leave her drinking husband,” often declares that he will disappear without her. How to explain this behavior of a woman?
She tends to exaggerate her importance in the life of another person. This attitude makes her feel a certain superiority over her alcoholic husband. Thus, she realizes her internal complexes. In other cases, the woman gets used to the role of the victim and gets used to this lifestyle.
In fact, the wife has long been out of the rut of normal life. Her existence depends entirely on the dose of a person close to her drunk. This is called codependency.
The other side of the coin is that the woman who lives with the drinker overestimates her efforts in trying to cure him. She is morally devastated, exhausted, but does not give up. In many cases, the desperate wife also begins to drink unnoticed. As the saying goes: the husband drinks - half of the hut is on fire, and the wife drinks - the whole hut is on fire.
Abstaining from alcohol is not the end of difficulties
So, after numerous trips of an alcoholic to healers, doctors, narcologists, psychotherapists, another phase begins in the life of people close to him. The woman and other family members will face unpleasant changes associated with the emotional state of the "stuck" alcoholic.
First, the man will be accompanied by an irritable mood. Secondly, he simply will not know how to realize himself at home and in social life. And in such a situation, the wife, who has decided to go all the way in the fight against drunkenness, should stock up on remarkable patience.
After all, she will have to help her husband recover in the role of husband, father for her children and an employee at work. By the way, during this period, a man is not immune to a breakdown to start drinking alcohol again.
Is it possible for a woman in such a situation not to ruin her life? There are few individuals who like to be always on guard, to constantly monitor an alcoholic husband, to be a nanny with him.
A woman should consider whether she is doing this person a disservice? After all, a drinking husband, confident that his spouse will tolerate him by anyone, risks remaining addicted to alcohol for the rest of his life.
We must always remember that we have one life. What can children see living with a person who cannot imagine a day without a shot of vodka? What kind of return does a woman get when she endures her man's drunken antics? And what awaits her next?
Of course, there are different situations in which a person really quits drinking, repents in front of loved ones and changes his life in a cardinal way. But this does not happen as often as we would like.
Unfortunately, living next to an alcoholic and not destroying yourself is not an easy task. The most important thing is whether the person for whom all this is being done is worth it?
If a woman makes a lot of efforts to return a man to a normal life, and there is no effect, the best thing is to part with him. By the way, for some alcoholics, this ultimately becomes a good incentive to stop drinking.
