The family life of the people around us develops in different ways: someone lives happily ever after, completely not thinking about everyday problems, and someone, on the contrary, dramatizes everything and complains about trifles. There are no standard situations, but something in common, as the classic said, can be traced in unhappy families.
A standard situation: a married couple gets divorced and, if you listen to both sides, it turns out that both are monsters of some kind. According to his wife, he is a negligent husband, henpecked, mama's son, who lives at home like in a hotel, and in general, "he shakes me right away." According to her husband, she is a loud hysterical woman, a bad mistress, a stupid gossip, a boorish and selfish predator.
Learned? We hear this all the time from people who chose each other of their own accord. They weren't married, anesthetized, or delusional. They made their choice, lived side by side for some time and suddenly … The fact is that "suddenly" does not happen. We notice all these negative qualities in our halves after the first months of life together.
It does not happen that a sweet, homely, intelligent girl went to bed, and a selfish, wayward hysterical woman woke up. The fact is that until some time we simply do not want to notice all this. This raises a reasonable question: why do we tolerate?
Life with such a negative character cannot be called love, but your own inertia, conformism and ordinary self-interest explains a lot. Here the girl got married for great love, after a year the love subsided a little, gray everyday life began, work-home-work. A woman wants a holiday and does not care that her beloved husband is torn at two jobs and crawls home on autopilot! She wants it, period. And she wants it, because a girl is supposed to want it!
Everything is going smoothly with her friends: both prosperity, and a husband with flowers at the ready every weekend, and her mother-in-law is generally caught - an angel in the flesh. Girlfriends are given expensive gifts, they don’t care that sometimes their husbands open their hands, but a ring after such a thrashing is provided. And our girl begins to get angry at the whole wide world and complain about the bitter fate of the villainous that dragged her into this trap.
The girl blames the whole world for her troubles, periodically rolls up grandiose scandals and secretly dreams of a fur coat and rest abroad (after all, everyone has already gone three times, she is sitting alone in the country). And what does the husband do at this time?
Every day he comes later, so as not to run into another scandal, hangs out with friends almost every day, because in their company he feels free, as before.
Bottom line: two unhappy people who hate each other and two broken lives. If the couple had lived with each other longer, had time to get used to it before marriage and better know everything that awaits them, then they would not be in such a hurry to the registry office.
When you accept a strong desire to tie your fates, take responsibility for each other, try to pronounce controversial situations, and if it is time to run away, you should not humiliate yourself and your partner so much, albeit a former one.
