If the daughter-in-law complains about her son, which position is better to choose: support the daughter-in-law, protect her son, or stay on the sidelines? In the first case, you can offend your son, in the second - ruin your relationship with your daughter-in-law, the third option threatens to divorce the family. What to do to save the family, calm down the daughter-in-law and not upset the son?
It is necessary
- - patience
- - common sense
- - life experience
Instructions
Step 1
Support the daughter-in-law. Complaining about your son is not a reason to quarrel and spoil your relationship with your daughter-in-law, because she is like a daughter to you. Not every mother-in-law can boast of such trust. Perhaps the daughter-in-law is waiting for advice from you and wants to figure out how to best behave. After all, you know your son better. The daughter-in-law's complaints may also be of a different nature. For example, she wants you to influence her son. Consider the situation. If the son raises his hand against his wife or children - do not be silent, talk to him, figure it out. It is better to close your eyes to petty quibbles and turn the conversation into another direction. Interfering with other people's family relationships, it is easy to remain guilty. Do not go too far, act tactfully and delicately, and then you can be friends with your daughter-in-law and not offend your son.
Step 2
Protect your son. Not all mothers-in-law want friendly relations with their daughters-in-law. Yes, and daughters-in-law often slander sons not in essence. In such situations, you can clearly show that you are on the side of your son. Perhaps the daughter-in-law simply does not know her husband well enough, does not understand why he behaves this way. You just open her eyes and dot the i's. In addition, you adore giving advice, and who, if not your daughter-in-law, should you address it?
Step 3
Stay out of the way. The most prudent option when a daughter-in-law complains about her son is not to interfere. Children are already adults - let them solve their problems themselves. The gaps in upbringing can no longer be corrected, and it is no longer possible to influence the son. The daughter-in-law knew whom she was marrying, so what are your complaints against you? In addition, I do not want to spoil the relationship with my son at all. This position may seem indifferent or hostile to the daughter-in-law, but only if she was expecting help from you. You can support, listen, even agree with her, but, nevertheless, do nothing. As the saying goes: "And the wolves are fed, and the sheep are safe." Wise mother-in-law always try to keep neutrality.
Step 4
Act according to the situation, as your heart and life experience tell you. Not to interfere is a great position, but what if the family is on the verge of divorce, and the grandchildren are threatened to be left without one of the parents? Perhaps your help, as the chief judge, will play a decisive role in reconciling the parties. If, however, it is obvious that the children can figure it out without you - stay aside. Remember, a daughter-in-law is a woman who loves your son. Perhaps she is just young to understand the futility of complaining.
