Living with your mother-in-law in the same house is not always easy. Conflicts between the daughter-in-law and the husband's mother are quite common. However, they can be avoided. To do this, you need to try to understand your mother-in-law and adhere to certain rules of behavior when communicating with her.
Why there is a conflict with the mother-in-law
To understand the reason for the emergence of conflicts with the husband's mother, you need to mentally put yourself in her place. It immediately becomes clear that the appearance of a daughter-in-law in the house disrupts the usual course of things. For years, the mother-in-law has been equipping her house and life, and now a person has appeared who is trying to make his own adjustments to the already established way of life. It is clear that the daughter-in-law needs to do this, because she also has her own habits and preferences. It is this thought that needs to be conveyed to the mother-in-law.
The bulk of the conflicts between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law are not due to hostility to each other or a complex nature, but due to the violation of family rules by the daughter-in-law.
How to survive in the same house with your mother-in-law
It is necessary to try to establish a psychological distance with the mother-in-law. You don't have to act unnatural to appear better. She will still notice it and will not appreciate such efforts.
You should not start putting things in order in your mother-in-law's house on the very first day after moving. In this case, it is worth being patient and biding the time.
Even before moving to your mother-in-law, it is important to discuss household issues. In such a conversation, do not hesitate to ask questions and put forward your suggestions. It should be clear how the housekeeping will be distributed: who will be in charge of food and who will be responsible for washing.
The financial issue is also of great importance. It is necessary to agree on who will buy food, household chemicals and other things for general use. By the way, in this case it would be much more reasonable to keep separate budgets.
Morally, you need to be prepared for the fact that the mother-in-law will begin to teach how to run a household. She can do this delicately, throwing meek remarks with a smile, or, conversely, starting a long fiery speech, in which a sharp emphasis will be placed on things she did not like. But in one case or another, it is important to be calm. Perhaps even the mother-in-law will try to deliberately bring the daughter-in-law to emotions, then all the more it is worth keeping herself in hand. It is more completely possible that after a while the husband's mother will calm down, noticing that the daughter-in-law does not react to her negativity.
And, of course, in order not to set the mother-in-law against yourself, it is necessary to remember and observe one, but extremely important rule: under no circumstances should you sort things out with your husband in the presence of the mother-in-law. You have to understand that she is a mother who will always be on the side of her child. And even if the mother-in-law does not intervene in the skirmish between her son and his wife, then at least she will feel extremely embarrassed.
