The abundance of anecdotes and "scary stories" about the relationship between mother-in-law and son-in-law, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can cause real fear of meeting the girl's / boy's relatives. But because of this, you should not look for an orphan as a partner!
Reasons for fear of new relatives
Subconsciously, every person entering into a relationship knows that he will have to find new relatives with his spouse. Sometimes an ardent reluctance to get to know them spoils the relationship within the couple.
It is not the first century that jokes about the parents of a spouse have been walking among the people. And they are always a hostile environment for the candidate for the halves of their children. Surely these fears have roots in the tradition of giving the bride to someone else's family in complete dependence on her husband. The ancient "Domostroy" also did not add optimism to the young maiden. The mother-in-law, in most cases, sought to subjugate the daughter-in-law to herself, acting with rather ruthless methods.
But why, then, is the guy's fear of the bride's parents no less strong? It probably arose somewhat later, when the residence of young people on the territory of the husband ceased to be compulsory. The young spouse, finding himself in his wife's family, immediately fell under the "microscope" of new relatives. The list of what he “should” was impressively long. If the young husband did not cope with his duties, the mother-in-law and father-in-law began to humiliate him.
If we analyze all these situations, it becomes clear that fears of meeting parents arise from the fact that the groom or the bride is afraid of not living up to the expectations of their elders.
How to behave when meeting your parents
Whether or not you need to establish close friendships with future relatives depends on you and your partner in the relationship. If there is a need for additional heat, then you can try to realize it. In this case, it is better to prepare in advance for the fact that you may not be accepted.
No relationship is cloudless and ideal, especially if several generations are involved in them. Find common ground. Do not try to please at all costs, behave politely, correctly, but naturally. Ask in advance about the character and hobbies of the partner's mom and dad, prepare inexpensive gifts. Dear ones, there is no need to do it, it will look like bribery.
You may find it much easier to come to meet your parents. Sometimes older relatives find a lot in common and are happy to have a conversation, practically not involving the younger generation in the conversation. In this case, when all the attention is not focused on you, it will be easier for you to overcome fear and look closely at your partner's parents.
If your fear of meeting your parents is overwhelming, there may be a problem in your relationship. Unwillingness to get closer to new relatives may speak of your subconscious denial of marriage in general or specifically with this person.
