The child has an imaginary friend. Because of the fictional, non-existent and fictional characters of the beloved child, the parents become anxious. Can't kids find real friends, otherwise why would a kid need these stories? Or is it not so scary?
An imaginary friend is a character invented by a child. With the figment of their imagination, children communicate or make friends. Often, the invented characters seem to their creators very real, although the child realizes that the friend does not really exist.
Everything is fine! or Help
Carlson can be called a striking example of such an invisible friend. Everyone knows this fabulous character. But not everyone knows that the syndrome is named in his honor. This is the name of the invention of an imaginary partner.
Children's fantasy is not limited to anything. The kid is able to build a supersonic rocket out of chairs and a blanket. The whole world is hiding in a large box, and an ordinary broom is successfully replacing the electric guitar. With such an imagination, neither the child nor his parents will be bored.
It is not surprising that the child is happy to have a new friend. But here's the bad luck: no one sees this friend except the baby. Invisible friends are recognized as a common occurrence for a 3-5-year-old baby. At this age, fantasy develops rapidly.
The crisis of three years is over. The babies are already separating themselves from their mother, they feel independence, they feel their own needs and desires. But the baby is not yet able to voice them or formulate them.
It is not uncommon for parents to perceive the appearance of an invisible friend with concern. Such a phenomenon as an imaginary friend is considered to be something like a deviation from the norm.
This is because adults are more accustomed to assessing the world from their belfry, guided in everything by logic and seriousness. But for an adult personality and for a child, invented comrades are a huge difference.
Invisible buddies are not uncommon. And this is confirmed by modern research.
Why did he appear?
So why does a child need an imaginary friend? There is a lot to learn from watching a toddler who has acquired such a companion. Even the fact that the parents did not even suspect about their offspring becomes visible.
His games with invisibility reflect both the baby's problems and the difficulties of his entire family:
- Lack of new impressions.
- Lack of communication.
So, if pressure and overprotection flourish in the house, then the child also suppresses invisible friends. He forbids them everything, commands them. Probably, he duplicates what happens to him in the family. Thus, parents can look at themselves and from the outside.
If the kid runs away from reality all the time into his world, where he can behave as he wishes, then this expresses another aspect of overprotection. This type of behavior is chosen by children suffering from a sense of guilt.
They either punish phantom characters in their fantasies, or, on the contrary, save them from punishment. Parents should find out why the child feels so guilty about himself.
Or maybe he's good?
If the crumb is not enough new impressions, he has invisible friends. Children can experience a whole sea of interesting adventures in the fantasy world. There is a way out of this situation: to entertain the child.
You can go with him to the zoo, children's theater, swing, finally. Don't forget about telling stories. If the whole day is busy with new impressions, there is no time for games with imaginary friends.
When adults are busy either with younger children, or with work, or with their own affairs, the child does not have enough communication. He probably has difficulties in communicating with peers. It is necessary to communicate with the child as much as possible: he is still more important than other problems.
But modern psychologists have proven that children who have brothers, sisters, and many friends in reality play with no less enthusiasm with imaginary comrades. The appearance of invisibility is not affected by the breadth of the social circle.
With an invented friend, the crumbs often "lose" all their secret desires:
- If the kid dreams that an imaginary friend will protect him, then the child really needs protection.
- If in fantasies the baby is punishing someone, it is likely that the problem will have to be solved with a psychologist.
- When the baby just likes to play with a fictional puppy, maybe it's time to really get him a dog.
How to act for adults
The best solution to the problem of imaginary friends is not to ignore them and not ostentatiously accept them into the family. It is much more effective to let the child decide for himself the degree of interaction between adults and an imaginary friend.
You can even play along by adding an extra device at the table, listen to all the stories and ask about the health of the new "Carlson". It is only important to draw a clear line between fiction and waking life: the child himself, and not invented friends, should be responsible for his actions.
It is difficult for parents to be outside observers. However, if you wish, you can notice that there are certain patterns of the appearance of invisible comrades and their behavior. So, they can come to visit at the very moment when mom and dad are starting a quarrel.
But the crumb does not have to invent a friend for self-defense. Most often, the reason for the appearance of an illusory companion is the baby's desire to have fun and have fun.
Usually, by the age of 7-9 years, invisibility disappears by itself. If such a friend is born in a child much older than seven years, provided that there are no serious injuries and changes in the child's life, it is likely that this is a signal: you should visit a child psychologist.