Remember how adults separate arguing and fighting kids? “The one who stops the first argument is the smarter one,” they say. And often it works - the quarrel stops. Maybe, in the case of your husband, you should be the first to stop the argument about who is right and who is not? If, nevertheless, it is important for you to prove your case, then follow the following tips.
Instructions
Step 1
First you need to calm down (at least for a while, if you still can't calm down completely). This can be helped, for example, by cleaning the house (washing floors, dishes, baths). Physical labor helps to calm down, throw out irritation and tension. And the conversation will only be productive when the interlocutors are calm.
Step 2
Putting yourself in the shoes of another person, especially in a difficult situation (during a quarrel, for example), is difficult, you don't want to. And the easiest way is to dismiss the phrase: “Well, his position is clear! Only she is wrong! Here I am telling the truth! But the conclusions can be erroneous when the situation is looked at from only one side. Therefore, look at the situation through the eyes of your husband, and encourage him to evaluate what happened on your side.
Step 3
Try not to prove your husband wrong, but to offer a compromise. No matter how much you love, you cannot always and in everything agree with the one you love. But this is not yet a reason for divorce. But if you do not know how to make compromises (“he compromised and did not return”), to negotiate and to concede in something (albeit in small things), then it is better to live free.
Step 4
If you disagree with your loved ones, but still want to find a common language with them, first get rid of the words “obvious”, “natural”, “undoubtedly”, “certainly”, “it goes without saying” - all this is obvious, undoubtedly certainly and goes without saying for those who agree with you. Those who disagree will only anger those who disagree. Replace the categorical "You're wrong!" to soft, but the same in meaning: "It seems to me …" or "I think differently!"
Step 5
Admit that you may be wrong, but ask for a discussion. Just say: "Maybe I'm wrong (a), but let's discuss it, we will consult …"
Step 6
Avoid monologue: both if you are being told and if you are talking. Dialogue retains the attention of the interlocutor, allows you to see that of what you said, remained incomprehensible, and the conclusions that are made during the dialogue are not imposed, they are a common discovery.
