The death of a loved one always becomes a heavy blow even for adults - what can we say about children. It is impossible to completely protect a child from such situations, but it is possible and necessary to help him cope with the pain of loss.
Instructions
Step 1
It is necessary to inform the child about the death of a loved one. "Holy lies" in such cases are unacceptable. Having learned that “mom has left for a long time,” the child may feel abandoned, and this feeling will not soften, but intensify the psychological trauma. In addition, there will certainly be "well-wishers" who will tell the child the truth, and then to the emotional wound associated with death, there will be added annoyance from deception on the part of loved ones.
Step 2
When talking about death with the child himself or with other people in his presence, it is necessary to avoid allegorical phrases, because children, especially small children, take words literally. For example, hearing the phrase "fell asleep with eternal sleep", the child will be afraid to go to bed.
Step 3
In the first days after the death of a family member, adults are busy with sad chores, it is also hard for them, but this is not a reason to “brush off” the child. It will not be superfluous to caress him and pick him up more often than usual. Adults should definitely answer the baby's questions, no matter how “silly” and annoying they may seem.
Step 4
A child's questions may indicate incipient fears. Having survived the death of a grandmother, a child may fear that his parents will die too, and the prospect of his own death may be frightening. You should not lie to the child, promising that mom, dad and he himself will live forever, suffice it to say that this will happen in many years.
Step 5
You should not condemn a child if he does not cry and does not react at all to the death of a loved one - this does not indicate mental callousness, but that the child has not yet realized what happened. Even many days after his father's funeral, he can ask over and over again when dad will come home. Adults will have to explain calmly every time, without showing irritation, that death is forever.
Step 6
The child will probably want to know where the loved one is now. Believers are in an advantageous position: “Grandma has gone to heaven, she is now with God” sounds more optimistic than “Grandma is no more”. In an atheistic family, one can focus on the fact that the deceased will never be hurt or sad again, his suffering is over - this sounds especially convincing if a person was seriously ill for a long time before death.
Step 7
It is not worth taking a child under 8-9 years old for burial: with this difficult procedure, even adults sometimes lose their composure. Let the child say goodbye to the deceased at home.
Step 8
After the funeral, people return to normal life, but the pain does not immediately subside, including in children. If the child starts a conversation about the deceased, you can and should talk to him, indulge in memories together, you can open the family photo album and see the photographs of the deceased.
