Often, our emotional "baggage", taken from previous relationships that ended in deception and betrayal, "pulls to the bottom" of today's relationship. We do not trust a loved one, not because he once gave us reason to doubt, but because the wounds we once inflicted still hurt. But how can you let your past ruin your future? Without trust, there is no intimacy, and without intimacy, there is no true love.
Necessary
- Patience
- Understanding
- Time
Instructions
Step 1
Recognize that your current loved one has nothing to do with your past. He should not be held responsible for the evil that was once done to you. Even if you think “they are all the same”, you yourself understand that this is not so and all people are different. Give your loved one a chance to prove that he is different.
Step 2
Do not blame the beloved for what he has not done yet. If your partner is friends with some woman, returned late, forgot to call, this is not a reason to rush to conclusions and immediately accuse him of cheating. Few people are ready to live with a jealous and suspicious person all the time, and if your loved one did not even think to betray you, then your constant accusations and attacks can make him just break off the relationship. If you love someone, are you ready to lose him because of unfounded suspicions?
Step 3
Listen to what your loved one says about other people. If he gives you the intimate secrets of his friends, if he makes fun of his past friends, if he speaks badly about them, if he is able to say one thing to people in the eyes, and then, behind his back, throw mud at someone, then he is not a decent person and this is much more than fifteen minutes late from work. If, on the contrary, he is looking for positive qualities in people, speaks warmly about his "ex", is able to keep the secrets of friends, then he deserves trust.
Step 4
Be honest with your partner. If you honestly tell him about your experiences, he has the opportunity to reckon with them and thereby show how he treats you. If you are hiding a lot from him, then he is not able to see the real you and give you that feeling of security and confidence that you so need.
Step 5
Recognize that we all need personal space. You should not share absolutely all of each other's hobbies and spend all the time only together. Agree that you have something to chat about face to face with your girlfriend and these topics are not always for men's ears, so why should your loved one not have the need to discuss something with a friend without you? When someone feels that he is constantly monitored and “kept on a short leash,” he often either rebel openly or really begins to hide something in order to avoid problems. If you consistently distrust someone who is trustworthy, then that someone might live up to your worst expectations just because you expect them to.
