Why does the child not obey and what to do in this situation? A mother with many children and a professional teacher tells.
I am a mother of three children, I will share with you proven knowledge and effective ways to make your child obey. Children, of course, are the flowers of life, our favorites and so on. But they are also the source of nervous breakdowns, bad mood and a lot of worries.
Bad behavior is usually punished. Is it necessary? I will tell you what to do if the baby is hysterical, freaked out, snarls and seems completely uncontrollable.
Bad behavior does not depend on age. A baby at 2 years old can rebel just like a child at 7 years old. This is how we were brought up and we are trying to explain or teach that parents must be obeyed. When asked to describe a well-bred child, most often I hear: "Polite, obedient, in clean clothes, smiling so that he obeys his mother and does not get involved in history."
Let's be honest, and continue: "It does not interfere with sitting on social networks or just at the computer, waiting for us to talk on the phone." Smiled? And now, seriously - it doesn't work that way. Famous pediatrician Komarovsky believes: "Children should be thin and with an awl in the ass."
Now about the main thing. Let's analyze child psychology.
The main reasons for bad behavior are:
- Lack of attention.
- Low self-esteem.
- Physical illness (sick, wants to eat, etc.).
Child psychology is arranged in such a way that if a child does not have enough of your attention, or he does not feel like a significant person, whose opinion is being listened to, he will remind about it by any means. Now you know about the source of tantrums and disobedience.
What to do to obey?
The most important thing is to restore the lost contact and identify the cause of the bad behavior. If a physical ailment can be eliminated immediately by taking specific measures. For example, if he puts him to bed or gives him food, then psychological problems will have to be worked on. And about this more seriously.
2 steps to improve behavior
… Make up for the lack of attention.
This can be achieved if:
- spend at least 15 minutes a day with your baby. If there are several children, then take time for each one. During this period, do only what the child wants;
- ask for an opinion when choosing clothes;
- ask what he wants for lunch / dinner.
The older the child is, the more time you need to devote. Ideally, the minimum time period is 30 minutes. Well, we're busy and all, so start with 15 minutes. The list of choices can be endless, I wrote the main one, be smart.
The child must be sure that his opinion is taken into account. Any professional psychologist will begin his work with this.
… Improve the child's self-esteem.
You should be alerted if the child says:
- I can not.
- I won't be able to.
- I am bad.
- I'm dumb.
The list goes on and on, the point is clear. Having heard such phrases, do not even doubt - the child has low self-esteem. The kid should be confident in his abilities and not criticize himself.
There are several ways to achieve the desired result:
- praise your baby. On the day of phrases that caress the ear, there should be more than abusive - educational. It is important for any person to be heard;
- do not make a remark in front of people, especially strangers;
- do not compare with other children. And don't use them as an example;
- avoid phrases that lower your self-esteem, such as:
- Shut your mouth!
- Nobody asks you!
- You forgot to ask!
- Get out of here!
These tips are not taken out of my head. I have studied a lot of scientific literature and tested these methods myself. Use these psychological tricks for two weeks. Your child's behavior will improve and you will build a relationship with him.
These methods are also suitable for teenagers. For more on adolescence, read my next article.
Let me know in the comments if you managed to fix your situation. What difficulties do you face? Or share your methods. I will be glad to receive feedback and will try to answer your questions.
