The issue of disobedience arises in almost every family. And it is very important to know how to behave correctly, so as not to spoil the relationship with the child, but to solve the problem.
Surely any parent has faced a situation of disobedience and called his child disobedient. And this problem undoubtedly worries everyone. Moreover, you want to love and be proud of your child, live in peace and harmony, be a friend, support and support for him, and not swear and punish. So, let's try to figure out how to be.
1. The main parents in the family, not the child.
In no case should there be a democracy where the baby is put on an equal footing with mom and dad - that's what you and the parents are for, to teach and help. Yes, when your child is no longer small and there is a question, for example, admission to college and future life, then you can listen to his opinion (after all, this is an important step in HIS life), but the last word should always be yours.
2. Both parents should be at the same time.
This is very important and no clarification is required.
3. No, then no.
The word no should rarely sound, but special attention should be paid to it - for example, it should be pronounced when there is a real threat to the child or in exceptional cases. In situations where the child just wants to take your magazine, it is better to say: "Ay, why do you need it?" and turn your attention to something interesting. Otherwise, the baby will hear “No” all the time and stop responding to it. And most importantly, if you said no, but you must be principled and stand your ground, and not change your mind after 5 minutes, even if you observe screaming and tears (just leave and don’t react), otherwise your child will stop taking your words seriously.
4. No - always not.
If you said no today to something that you can't, for example, take your phone - then on any other day you can't take it either - always!
1. When raising, take into account the development and age of the child.
2. Reasonableness of your requirements.
It is not necessary to leave the child hungry at the slightest disobedience, for example.
3. The degree of punishment must correspond to the offense and be timely.
If a child accidentally spilled something, there is no need to flog it. Or if the child is naughty in the morning, there is no need to deprive him of cartoons in the evening - the punishment should go immediately.
4. You must be calm before being punished.
If you feel that you are too angry, take some measures to calm yourself (go out into the air, into another room, onto the balcony, take a few calm sighs), and only then make a decision.
5. Put yourself in the child's shoes and think about how to talk and how to act.
6. Do not shout - a calm voice is always perceived better, and a rare cry in critical situations will be perceived with particular importance.
7. Speak in understandable language.
8. If the child is hysterical (thus the child is trying to control you) - do not react and move away from the baby, be calm and persistent, and when he calms down - go to him. Thus, he will understand that his cry does not lead to anything, and if he is silent, you are there.
9. If the child throws something - in no case bring it back, but on the contrary, take it away. There is no need to educate on the principle - Anything, just to be silent. And so the child will understand that if he is thrown, then the thing is gone - and will stop doing it.
10. Always be an example.
If you swear for the fact that the child is constantly sitting in front of the TV, and you yourself are doing the same, this is absolutely inappropriate.
11. Be prepared for dialogue and discussion.
12. In some non-dangerous situations, keep silent and see how the situation ends - let the kid understand that it is not necessary to do this.
13. Encourage the good, but not the bad. Don't take the good for granted. The child should feel that it is pleasant to be good.
14. If you want to compare for educational purposes, then compare behavior, not people. For example, you don’t need to say you’re behaving badly, like Petya - it’s right to say - Petya has done something wrong and will now be punished - you don’t want it either.
15. Find reasons and analyze why the child is behaving this way.
Consider the above and I hope that you will learn how to raise your beloved child. And most importantly - bring up not as convenient for you, but as it will be good and useful for him - it is not necessary, for example, to make a mother's son out of a boy - raise a good, loving son and a real man. Love and goodness to your family!
