There are different negotiation techniques. Let's figure out which of them children use in their conflicts intuitively, and how we would like to teach them.
Forceful conflict resolution strategy. This is probably the most common method used by toddlers in the sandbox without adult intervention. The bottom line is to take your own strength, that is, the interests of only one side are satisfied. As a result: one child is happy, he took his toy; the second is crying. But let's not go to extremes: there are situations in which a power strategy is quite appropriate. Namely:
- the truth is on the side of one child - the owner of the toy is already leaving and collecting his own, for example;
- the conflict lasts a long time - the kids cannot share the toy for a long time;
- the cost of continuing the conflict is too high - the tension increases, which will lead to hysteria in both children.
I think many parents will agree with me that the use of a forceful strategy for getting out of the conflict should remain a last resort, it is better to first try to negotiate.
Compromise. A playground is a good, if not ideal, place to teach your child the skills to compromise. As mentioned above, kids intuitively use the forceful method: they come, see the toy they like, and take it. Do not be lazy, make an effort to teach your child to negotiate. The sooner you start doing this, the better. Teaching your child the skills to reach a compromise will take patience, but you will be very happy with the results.
What should be done? Let's say you know that your child's favorite toys are cars and various equipment. So, you understand that, having come to the sandbox, the kid first of all rush to other people's cars. Get in the habit of taking lots of cars, not necessarily the ones your child plays well with. Take a lot of different ones. These cars will be needed for exchange. Systematically teach your child not to come up and ask for someone's toy empty-handed. Trust me, it's much easier to change than just ask. This is especially true for younger children (about 2 years old). Do not be lazy to carry a large package of different equipment with you for a walk. Believe me, it's easier to bring a package of toys than to constantly see the tears of babies who cannot share one toy car.
First, the child will master the action itself: in order to receive something, you have to give something. The next step is to teach your child that the exchange should be equal: if you ask for a tractor, it is hardly worth offering sand molds in exchange. This understanding will not come to the child immediately. After all, this requires not only physical action, but already an intellectual assessment of the situation. Don't ask too much, patiently explain over and over again what the baby needs to do to get what he wants.
Your patience and desire to teach your child to get out of conflict situations will bear fruit. The main thing is not to give up, your child will not learn to negotiate in one day.
Compromise and forceful methods, of course, are not the only possible ones for resolving conflicts. But, probably, the most frequently used ones. I wish you wisdom and success in resolving conflicts on the playground. After all, it is in them that your child can learn so much.
