No matter how bitter and painful it may be, it so happens that it is difficult for a mother or father, and sometimes both parents, to fall in love with their son at once. How to deal with such a situation and not make mistakes?
Instructions
Step 1
Imagine at least for a moment that this is not your son, but just a child who, regardless of the circumstances, needs to be protected and cherished because he is small.
Step 2
Try to see your son as part of your loved one. To do this, in those moments when you communicate with your child, imagine your soul mate in his place. Alone with yourself, think about what your spouse was like as a child. If the feelings between you have not died out yet, then it will be interesting for you. Ask your partner what he was like as a child and try to see these traits in your son. Another question is if you do not live with your husband and are raising your son alone.
Step 3
Do not talk about your problem with relatives or friends. Firstly, many can ostracize you, and secondly, constantly talking with other people about this, wanting to ease heart pain, you will only poison your wounds, because this situation is not clear to everyone and not everyone can give good advice …
Step 4
If you wanted a daughter, but a son was born and only because of this you cannot love him in any way, never tell him why he was born instead of her. A child can become embittered with the whole world, so much so that it will be even more difficult to love him.
Step 5
Communicate with him as much as possible. Try to see him not as a son, but as a friend. Find common hobbies. If you do not have time to study with him, enroll him in some circle or sports section so that your son can develop his abilities and does not feel abandoned while in a team.
Step 6
If this is a son from your spouse's first marriage, do not try to portray unearthly love: children very subtly feel fake. Try to make friends with him, talk on equal terms. If you also have a child, immediately pay more attention to him, otherwise the “alien” son may start to be capricious if he sees that you have “grown cold” towards him.
Step 7
See a psychologist to help you understand this problem. Go alone first. Tell the psychologist about the situation. If the psychologist asks to bring a child or spouse, invite them, but do not give the reasons for the visit. It is possible that your fault for not loving your son is not as great as you think.
