People in their lives often wear masks and play roles. One and the same person in different circumstances and with different people can manifest himself from different sides. Sometimes a person gets along with a certain role so much that it becomes his typical model of behavior. This can be the role of a savior, aggressor, victim, etc. The behavior of the victim in society is quite common.
How victims behave
A person with victim behavior is easy to recognize. This usually takes a little time. Although, of course, different people may have this behavior to varying degrees - for someone it is activated only in difficult situations, but for someone it is a way of life.
The typical victim is always dissatisfied with something. One gets the impression that he has a lot of problems, and at first those around him may even have a desire to help the unfortunate person with something. However, after a while they will find that nothing has changed in his life, since a person has an amazing ability to create new problems out of nothing. And when someone offers him a way out of a difficult situation, he explains in detail why this solution does not suit him.
In the understanding of a victim, his life entirely depends on circumstances and other people, because it is beyond his power to manage it. All he can do is adapt. They are driven by internal attitudes "Nothing depends on me", "I can not change anything." If he still has to make an effort in some situation and change the usual way of action, he is seized with anxiety and despair. This is why victims are so fond of procrastinating and making excuses for themselves.
Reasons for victim behavior
In fact, it is convenient for the victim to live the way he lives, without leaving the comfort zone. He may not even be aware that he could easily change his life if he wanted and made some effort. However, this does not necessarily mean that he deliberately leads others by the nose for attention, sympathy, and small benefits in the form of help. He can really be unhappy and sincerely desire change, but something always bothers him. It could be some kind of psychological trauma from childhood or later in life.
For example, if the parents criticized the child, constantly pointed out to him his mistakes, the belief in his inadequacy and inability to do anything well could be deposited in him at the subconscious level. Becoming an adult, a person with learned helplessness syndrome often feels like a failure, and in a difficult situation, he reflexively gives up and begins to panic. In order to experience the bitterness of defeat and a feeling of powerlessness as rarely as possible, he can withdraw into himself, avoid responsibility and difficult work, be content with a mediocre life.
A victim-conscious person can change this ineffective stereotype of behavior if he realizes it and tries to behave in a new way in familiar situations, like an active actor, and not like a passive observer. Having seen the positive result of his efforts several times and making sure that a lot depends on him, he will be able to get rid of the complex. If the fears are very strong, perhaps you should seek the advice of a psychologist.
