The two main controversial issues in parents are those of punishment and praise. In terms of punishment, the controversy is not whether they are needed, but what form they should take. Someone considers physical punishment to be the most effective, while others categorically reject it. Some parents decide all questions in the form of a conversation, while others believe that it is absolutely useless to talk.
Oddly enough, praise also causes controversy among parents. Some parents believe that there is never too much praise and reward almost every movement and word of their child with enthusiastic exclamations. Others believe that praise must be earned and their children hear pleasant words only after they have really achieved great success on their own.
In fact, excess praise is just as dangerous as lack of praise. Praise for any reason, and even in the absence of punishment, leads to the fact that the child eventually grows up spoiled. He does not consider it necessary to try, because he will be praised anyway, even if he does nothing. There is no incentive for self-improvement and for setting goals and achieving them.
Lack of praise leads to a loss of self-confidence. The child gets used only to constant criticism, considers only those who deserve it are worthy of love. Including myself. Such children, growing up, very easily fall under the influence of the one who is the first to meet on their way and caress. A girl who was disliked in childhood most often marries almost the first man who said an affectionate word to her.
As in many issues, in this the best option is the golden mean. A child should not be left without praise if he has achieved something, albeit a small achievement, but on the scale of the child's world it may be the most important at the moment.
But praise for the fact that the child has long been able to, is hardly worth it. It is strange to praise a first grader for knowing a children's quatrain about a bunny or a bear. The requirements for the child should still grow with him.
But praise should not be confused with expressions of love. Even in the absence of a reason for praise, you can make it clear to the child that he is the most beloved and dear one for the parents. Praising an act and fondling a child are two different things. And you shouldn't replace one with another.
