Once upon a time, the fact that the bride marries a virgin was considered a sine qua non for the implementation of marriage. In some cultures, it was even customary to hang out a sheet with traces of blood on the morning after the wedding night, so that everyone could be convinced of the "cleanliness" of the girl. In the modern world, representatives of Western values would consider such measures barbaric and offensive for the bride, but the question of whether it is worth keeping virginity before marriage and how to do it remains relevant.
Background of the problem
So what changed the tradition that a girl should marry a virgin? Perhaps the whole point is in the increased independence of women, who are now not considered by society only as a “commodity” for a successful marriage, and, perhaps, the reason is the sexual revolution and the invention of contraceptives. In any case, the fact remains: very rare girls marry virgins today. Falling in love, youth and frivolity do not help the girl to keep herself until the wedding.
The decision about whether to keep her virginity until the wedding can only be made by the girl herself, since she is the mistress of her own body, and no one has the right to impose on her an opinion about what to do. Of course, if the girl is an adult.
How to keep innocence
To achieve any goal, you need to understand why you are doing it. If you want to keep your virginity, then why? Probably the most correct answer would be: "To wait for your man, and not to mess with those who do not deserve it." This answer already contains everything you need to preserve your virginity before marriage - you are keeping yourself for your loved one.
But there are plenty of seductive situations and the seducers themselves who organize such situations around. It will be helpful for you to know that it is much easier to prevent a “dangerous” situation than to try to cope with it. To do this, you will need two things: warn your boyfriend, who must agree with your decision to remain innocent until the wedding, and avoid situations in which it will be difficult for you to control yourself and where there is a risk of being led by physical attraction.
Why you need to tell your boyfriend this as early as possible
If you are determined to keep your virginity until the wedding, then be sure to make it clear to the guy with whom you are starting to date. The fact is that such an attitude towards the issue of virginity is not widespread in the modern world. Rather, the normal state of affairs is considered when sex happens in a couple after several dates, after the so-called candy-bouquet period.
That is why, in order not to waste your and someone else's time, so as not to maintain unjustified expectations in someone else's head and not to feel that you seem to be deceiving your young man, you must warn him about your principles. Even if you think that your point of view on sex is the most correct (and you certainly think so, if you adhere to it), still delicately and as early as possible tell the guy you are starting to date about it.
You can tell about your decision to keep your virginity by starting the conversation by discussing a movie or book, and then turning the conversation over to expressing your principles.
Otherwise, you risk getting into a situation in which you will have to refuse him in a harsh manner. It will be difficult for some girls to do this, and consenting to sex, contrary to its principles, in order to avoid psychological discomfort, will not be a good solution. It is better to protect yourself from such a situation as early as possible. By doing this, you will also render a service to those young people who are not yet looking for a serious relationship.
The fan who claims to be romantically involved and takes you seriously will accept your terms that you will not have any sex with him before marriage. If the young man accepts and supports your position, then you will not have any difficulties.
Also, try not to find yourself with your boyfriend in situations where you risk breaking a promise to yourself. Even when you find yourself in “dangerous” conditions, show sufficient resilience not only in explaining your views, but also in adhering to them.
