Adolescence brings many difficulties both to the teenager himself and to his parents. Increased excitability and conflict of a child, a painful reaction to fairly harmless phrases can lead parents to bewilderment. But if they know what is happening to him, they will be able to choose the most correct options for communication.
Instructions
Step 1
During adolescence, significant changes occur in the child's psyche. Perceiving information about the world around him, the teenager immediately correlates it with himself. His nervous system is overloaded, so one wrong word is enough for him to “explode”. During this period, it is important to develop the correct style of communication, so as not to traumatize the child's psyche, to calm him down, if the need arises.
Step 2
The most important thing that is necessary to communicate with a teenager is his trust in you. But how does it arise? The child should know that no matter what offense he has committed, you will not scold him, let alone punish him. A calm explanation of mistakes, a benevolent conversation is much more effective than shouting and threats. By the time of adolescence, your child should know that there is no problem or question that he or she cannot come to you with.
Step 3
It is very important that the child respects you - this is one of the factors that build trust. If there is no respect, your words will be useless. A teenager is a maximalist and will not listen to someone who is not an authority for him.
Step 4
If there is trust, much is simplified. Seeing that your child is upset about something, you can try to talk to him. Just try - he can meet any of your words with hostility. Do not ask him “What happened?” Such a question can only provoke an outburst of anger. Gently and unobtrusively ask how things are going. If a teenager, mumbling "normally", runs away, do not bother him, wait for a more favorable moment. In the event that it is clear from his reaction that he is ready to speak, ask what he has new. Your child can tell you about the events of the day, including their problems. Having found out the cause of his disorder, you can already help him with specific advice.
Step 5
A good way to calm your teenager is to switch his attention away from the negative thoughts that are plaguing him and into something else. Do not offer him to do something interesting - for example, play football, chess, etc. In his condition, such a proposal can be regarded as a mockery. Ask him to help you in some business - this option is much more effective. It doesn't matter what it will be - repairing a door, a crane, a computer or something else. The child is unlikely to refuse to help you, work will help him to distract from unpleasant thoughts. Then, already in a calm atmosphere, you can try to find out the essence of his problem and help him cope with it.
