Soon you will be a mother again: it is both joyful and at the same time disturbing. It's time to think about how good relations will develop between your children in the future, so that the older child does not feel forgotten and does not feel jealous of the younger one.
Some steps to resolve future conflicts can and should be taken in advance: so, if any changes are expected in the life of an older child, make them as soon as possible. For example, if you plan to move the elder to another room or send him to kindergarten, do this long before the baby appears in the house: in this case, the older child will not associate these changes with the baby.
Unfortunately, it is impossible to do without jealousy at all: after all, the mother, who used to deal exclusively with the first child, now gives a significant share of her attention to the newborn. Sometimes parents make a big mistake, categorically forbidding the baby any manifestations of discontent. From this, the child will not begin to love his little brother, he will simply hide his anger at him. And do not be moved by the fact that the elder cares for the baby tenderly, asks to hold him on the arms, shake the crib, etc.: this is one of the forms of manifestation of the same jealousy.
Sometimes an older child suddenly begins to behave like a baby: "lisp", ask to be spoon-fed, dressed, put to bed. All this is a demand for attention to oneself. It's just that the kid wants to be loved as before.
You will need a lot of strength and patience to deal with these problems. The matter is further complicated by the fact that with the second child it is much easier for the mother: experience has already appeared, everything is not so scary and difficult as the first time. Therefore, sometimes the older child, with whom everything was very difficult and very difficult, begins to be perceived by the mother as a burden, especially in the case when his appearance was unplanned.
In order to relieve mom a little, you can try to emotionally switch the older child to the father, only it is better to do this in advance: let dad now read a fairy tale for the night, take him to the zoo, help solve the problem. So you can eliminate some problems: dad will take care of the older one, and mom will completely go to the disposal of the little one.
If there is a rather large age difference between the children, the parents sometimes ask the elder to work with the baby. Within reasonable limits, this is very good: this way your children will find it easier to find a common language, make friends with each other. But it is completely unacceptable to completely shift the care of the baby onto children's shoulders, and even at the same time scold the child if he overlooked something. Remember: you, and only you, are fully responsible for your children.
