If ex-spouses think that divorce is their own business, then they are very mistaken. When a relationship breaks down, the entire infrastructure surrounding the family breaks down. First of all, family vicissitudes concern children. The parents of both spouses cannot be on the sidelines. Family friends also find themselves in an ambiguous position.
It is quite rare to find divorces in which both parties have come to a voluntary agreement without suffering. More often than not, one of the parties considers itself a victim and offended. The state of a person after separation can be understood and sympathized with, but life goes on, and one must live it.
Divorce is, of course, a big psychological drama for the whole family. Someone suffers more, someone less, but in all situations one should remain human, at least out of respect for oneself. No matter how hard it is, you need to pull yourself together. You can, of course, resort to an old Russian remedy for relieving stress, but alcohol has a calming effect only for the first half hour, then the condition worsens, and a morning hangover will add physical suffering to the mental pain.
It is best to soberly analyze the current situation. You could even just take a piece of paper, line it up in two columns under the headings "plus" and "minus", and start writing down the bullet points. If the reason for the divorce was the betrayal of the spouse, an obvious plus would be to stop the flow of lies and humiliation. Lack of responsibilities for serving the ex-spouse can also be attributed to bonuses. Unfortunately, there is no European-American practice in the country for the material support of an abandoned wife - this is a clear minus, and this problem will have to be solved.
The main question is what to do with love, deceived and trampled by the divorce proceedings. She will either have to be hidden deeply, or put at the forefront and devote the rest of her life to her nurturing. The first option will allow you to organize a worthy full-fledged life, the second will forever give the status of "offended".
The decency of a person is manifested in a conflict situation. If the husband behaves inadequately after the divorce, then there is no reason to regret the separation.
It's hard to enjoy life in the first months after a breakup, but a constant focus on the past will not bring any practical benefit. No matter how trivial it sounds, it is better to go out to people, to the cinema, theater, or just for a walk more often. New impressions are needed in any case. To distract from the past, you need to change life values. You can start with a change of scenery. If possible, go on vacation to an unfamiliar place. You can do what you could not do before - start learning a foreign language, drawing, learning a new computer program.
The morale of the people close to them largely depends on the positioning of the spouses. Naturally, in the first days after a divorce, it is difficult to think about the mental comfort of third parties. But if there are children in the family, maintaining relations with the spouse's parents is necessary, at least at the diplomatic level, and this is not discussed, nor is the relationship of children with their ex-spouse discussed.
In relationships with mutual friends, it is better to adhere to the principle of expediency. If there is a need for communication, but there is no desire to intersect with the ex-spouse, it is better to adjust the contact modes in advance. In any case, your own comfort should be at the forefront.
The biggest mistake a divorced woman makes is a hasty second marriage.
The main thing in divorce is to survive it. It means putting your own life above suffering. If you want to annoy your husband, you just need to be happy.
