“My child has no friends at all. We tried to invite classmates to visit, arrange birthdays, but it did not help. I'm afraid this will affect the development of the child. Because of this, not only the child suffers, but also me. I take it out on him for it, and then I regret it. What to do, how to be?"
The one who is concerned that the son (daughter) cannot find friends is right. What is the reason for loneliness and how to help your child?
Of course, communication with people plays an important role in human life. We are nothing without society. Remember the tale of Mowgli? When there is no communication, there is no development. Therefore, parents need to pay special attention to this factor in the life of their child.
The parent is the main helper
A parent is the first and only teacher who can teach life and attitude towards it better than any school. Using the example of their mothers and fathers, children learn to communicate with people, find contact with them, and resolve conflicts. If adults themselves do not have close friends, talk little between themselves and the child, then sooner or later he will adopt the same communicative model for himself. But who wants his child to grow up as a pacifist and shun people?
Although the absence of friends may be for another reason, even if the parents have a lot of their friends, and the house is constantly crowded with guests. It happens that a child simply cannot find a common language with peers. In this way, the parent can develop communication skills in their child.
Be tolerant and wise
No amount of theories, constant exhausting conversations with the baby that he needs to find friends, will not lead to the desired result. This tight ring, which mothers often put their children in, is often the reason for the loneliness of their blood. You should not constantly clutch at your heart, groan and gasp, impose your worries about or without. Excessive preoccupation with the child's failures in communicating with peers give rise to shyness and complexes in him. A trembling mother who constantly pushes and constantly asks if he has found friends, is able to close the little man even more.
Psychologists most often advise parents to let go of the situation and not to panic, not to burden the child with their gloomy thoughts. A child's psyche that has not yet been formed requires a soft, meaningful approach. It is better to act in a measured manner and not strive by all means to get at least some friends.
Act and be consistent
The main task of parents is to help their child overcome all difficulties. Not to leave to the mercy, but to be near and gently, unobtrusively push to action. A sure way to give him the practice of communication is to take him out into the yard, to an outdoor playground. The parent must show by his own example how to communicate and that it is great! Chat with other mothers, enter into dialogues with children playing next to them. You should never order a child, like: "There is a girl sitting in the sandbox, go play with her." It is necessary to go to the sandbox together. Parents should help communicate with other children with the help of simple questions, teach them to change toys with children, give their cars and dolls to others to play. But you should not constantly stand over your child and control all his actions. Hyperprotection is useless. Parents usually dislike such children, near whom they constantly hover like kites. Yes, and the child himself, the eternally controlling mother, does not allow him to relax and make an acquaintance.
Do not overdo it
In an effort to find friends for their child, many parents forget that the main thing in friendship is not quantity, but quality. Therefore, you should not impose certain children on your offspring. If he doesn’t like a potential “friend”, do not insist on further communication. As the saying goes, you can't be cute by force. See which peer attracts him the most. And encourage all his contacts, even fleeting ones.
Develop comprehensively
A common occupation unites people, everyone knows that. Based on this, parents are advised to define their quiet boy in a circle or some kind of sport that involves team play. Classes where every man for himself is not suitable here. Football, volleyball or, for example, pair figure skating are optimal sports. In general, the main thing is to diversify the child's leisure time and not limit his communication only to adults.
See the introvert in your child
It so happens that the child himself is not at all worried about the fact that he does not have close friends. He is not uncomfortable with the absence of such. If he behaves calmly and he likes everything, he does not complain about the lack of communication, then everything is in order. This means that your child is so arranged, he feels good and without constant communication. In this case, it is worth talking to a psychologist. Your baby may be an introvert. He feels good with himself, it is interesting to sit in front of a computer, TV, read a book. Then the task of the parents is to make sure that the child does not withdraw into himself.
