"Real mother" - sometimes you can hear about a particular woman as praise or approval. However, the meaning of this epithet is very different for many people.
What are they, real mothers?
According to psychologists, the childhood of the woman herself and her relationship with her own mother are of great importance. Some dream of becoming as kind and loving as their mother. Others try to work out their own path, avoiding the mistakes made by their parents. The danger of this approach sometimes lies in permissiveness - children are allowed too much according to the principle: "I did not have it, let my children have it." However, such upbringing is not yet a guarantee that a woman will become a “real mother”.
There is an opinion that wisdom comes with experience, when a woman begins to raise not only a child, but to change herself. Often, newly minted mothers note that after the birth of a child, they had to become more patient and restrained - perhaps these are steps towards becoming a so-called real mother …
How to become a real mother to a step-child
Sometimes women who are unable or hesitant to have a child naturally decide to adopt a boy or girl from an orphanage. If the child is a newborn, the process of habituation, according to psychologists, can be easier and faster. Children under one year old, taking into account the peculiarities of the psyche, easily switch and the period necessary for building relationships with a new mother may be painless. And it will be easier for a woman to get used to a small child - after all, wise nature has taken care of this: many begin to instinctively feel a desire to surround defenseless babies with care and attention, which will undoubtedly help them eventually become a real mother in the fullest sense of the word.
For those who decide to adopt an older child, of course, it will be easier in everyday life: sleepless nights due to teething and gradual getting used to the pot are already far behind. However, completely different problems may come to the fore. Children who have already turned 2-3 years old are able to keep memories of their mother or loved ones, while experiencing completely different feelings - from pain and fear to anger and despair. It takes a lot of work to melt the ice in the soul of such a kid. But, having won his trust and love, mom will be not only "real", but also the only one in the world. Perhaps this is something worth living for.
It is known that some children, adopted at an early (and not so) age, admitted that they consider their real mother the one who raised them, surrounded them with care, gave them the opportunity to live in a family and put them on their feet. Therefore, women who have doubts about their capabilities can be advised to seek advice from those who have already gone this way. For example, many mothers with many children, including those raising foster children, are often ready to share advice to help make another baby happy in this huge and not always fair world.
