As much as one would like to justify jealous people, unfortunately, jealousy has nothing to do with love, because a full-fledged relationship between two people is, first of all, trust in each other.
If a person tries to control every step of his half, this says only one thing: he has a very low self-esteem, he does not even love himself and does not believe that someone can love him. If a person is not happy with himself, he may not even be aware of this. But discontent will spill out on everyone around, and life next to such a person is unbearable for a healthy person.
A person with low self-esteem seeks to assert himself - usually at the expense of others. And he does it in one or several of the following ways:
- Constant control. "When, with whom, where, why, when will you return?" - these questions will be asked many times daily. And the most unpleasant thing, even if you indulge the paranoia of this person and provide video reports of what happened at the time when the half was absent, the “controller” will still gnaw at doubts, he will not stop waiting for a catch.
- Veiled humiliation. In order to somehow rise in his eyes, a person will insult and humiliate his soul mate, and this will be done with a touching expression on his face and great tenderness, for example: “Where are you without me, such a helpless fool! You can’t do anything yourself!” While stroking the back and smiling. The danger of this phenomenon is that with a sufficiently long suggestion of this kind, a person really begins to believe that he is absolutely not capable of anything without his stronger and smarter partner. All faults are forgiven to the humiliating person, while the feeling of resentment to the humiliated is perceived as something criminal.
- Open spiritual and physical abuse. All conflicts are resolved through forceful arguments, constant open insults are common. At the same time, half of the tyrant is held by circumstances that supposedly prevent the breakup - children or material issues. In fact, by constantly suffering, a person manifests his masochistic nature. He hates himself, and does not see anything reprehensible in the hatred of another, moreover, he perceives it as a well-deserved punishment and is even grateful to his tormentor for taking on the role of justice.
Jealousy is the first alarm bell. Do not take it as a manifestation of love. Otherwise, the subsequent relationship runs the risk of becoming a real hell. If someone who is jealous has a penchant for masochism, they will be trapped and it will be extremely difficult for them to break off the relationship that causes suffering. If mistrust, manifested as jealousy, does not offend a person, he has a good reason to subject himself to self-examination for low self-esteem. Perhaps the help of a psychologist is required.
Usually, people who are inclined to hate themselves are not even aware of it. But if a person experiences a constant feeling of guilt, dissatisfaction with his own life and everything that happens in it, condemns almost everyone around him - this person has a real rejection of his own personality. And the chances of becoming a victim of the tyrant who allegedly loves him are very high for this person.
To develop self-confidence and an adequate assessment of yourself and the world will require serious work on yourself. With due diligence, success is real. After all, only a person who perceives himself as he is, or a little dissatisfied with himself, but busy with self-improvement without constant condemnation, is able to be happy in a relationship with another full-fledged person.
