Is the baby crying? The mother's first reaction is to take him in her arms, even after she has made sure that he is full, the diaper is dry and there seem to be no external stimuli whatsoever. Pick it up at least for the sake of silence in the house. But is it worth doing? Even 2-3 decades ago, most pediatricians would have answered no. They were echoed and always ready to give advice to grandmothers: "The child will get used to the hands, spoil …"
Today, the opinion of pediatricians, teachers and child psychologists has changed dramatically: it is possible and even necessary to pick up a child, especially when he has such a need.
All parents know that a crying baby will quickly calm down if you pick him up. And the grown up baby begins to ask for his arms already consciously. Why does he need it? What does it give him? Understanding what is happening with the baby will help inexperienced parents make a decision in this matter. Being nine months in the womb, the child is used to feeling his mother next to him, his mother's heart rate is natural for him. That is why, especially at first, he feels calmer in his arms.
Tactile contact with the mother creates a feeling of security in the child, and this helps to adapt to the new environment for him. The baby needs such contact, and he achieves it in the most accessible way to him - by crying. When the mother holds the baby in her arms, the distance between the baby and the mother's face is 30-40 cm, which is most optimal for the newborn's visual system. At the same time, let's not forget that a human face is much more for a child than just an object for contemplation.
Slightly older kids love to be carried around the room, show and tell something. The child needs you to get new information about the world outside the crib or playpen, i.e. with your help, he meets his need for new experiences. But the basic need of a child asking to take him in his arms is, of course, the need for emotional contact. Every person in childhood should receive enough attention and affection from the mother. Children who experienced a feeling of loneliness in infancy and early age grow up emotionally undeveloped, withdrawn, insecure, and this will not have the best effect on their whole future life.
So, in the arms of the mother, the baby gets more opportunities for psycho-emotional development. You can even say that a child has the right to demand that his parents take him in their arms. Do not deny him this. A mother who is afraid to spoil her child first of all thinks about her own comfort, without caring about the real needs of the baby. Small children can and should be taken in your arms, because for them it is the best proof that the world around is reliable, and they themselves are needed and loved.
Of course, for a mother loaded with daily household chores, the baby in her arms creates certain inconveniences. But the time spent with the child should not be regarded as lost - do not forget about the positive emotions that the mother herself receives when communicating with the child.
