Every family has problems and troubles of a different scale. One such problem is a non-working husband. There are several possible reasons for this situation, as well as several possible solutions.
Husband is happy with everything
The simplest situation is that the husband simply does not want to work. Most likely, your faithful grew up in a family headed by a woman. Perhaps caring for a child was elevated to the rank of a cult in this family. When these children grow up, most often they continue to parasitize on their mother. Perhaps she is still providing him with money, despite the fact that her "dear boy" already has his own family.
Such men are extremely difficult to reeducate. You basically have only two options. You can become his second mom, pull the whole family, or give an ultimatum - he finds a job, or you leave. But do not hope that he will really find himself any kind of work.
Wife as a psychotherapist
The second and very unpleasant scenario for the development of the situation is a man who seems to be looking for a job. Such men can look for work for years, go to all kinds of interviews with absolutely no result. This is how the latent unwillingness to work works. It can be associated with lack of confidence in their skills and abilities, fear of people, lack of fulfillment. More often than not, a man drags such a bouquet of negative emotions from childhood, where demanding parents "puffed up" him, comparing him with other children.
Support your husband. Do not under any circumstances saw, scold or reproach if it belongs to the third type.
The only way you can help such a man is to cure his complexes. If you can instill confidence in him, he may open up to you, tell you about his fears. In such a case, you can try to disassemble and overcome them in detail. Support such a man, explain to him that the only thing he can do in such a situation is to overcome his fear, to do what is most terrible. Perhaps, for a start it is worth looking for a slightly less prestigious and less highly paid job, but here the main thing is to start.
Sometimes there is simply no way to make money
And the last option - the husband is really looking for a job, but cannot find it in any way for several months. It doesn't matter what happened. Have your husband been laid off, if he fell ill, there are simply no offers on his specialty in the labor market … Such critical situations do not last forever, but it is important not to break down in anticipation of favorable times.
If your husband is seriously insecure, go to a therapist with him if funds allow. Sometimes a few sessions are enough to "let go", and he could start a serious job search.
If in the near future only you will have a job, discuss the distribution of responsibilities with your husband. If you have the opportunity to work more often, including at inopportune hours, your husband will have to take on a significant share of household chores. Discuss it calmly and without nerves. It is especially important to discuss financial issues - what will you save on, what you can do without, what reserves the family has. Agree on where the free money will be, do not force your husband to beg you for funds for the necessary little things like cigarettes, this terribly spoils relations in the family.
