Not all people agree with the biblical thesis about the need to forgive offenders. Many are sure that only revenge can compensate for the experiences they experienced. What to choose if you are offended - revenge or forgiveness?
Is revenge really necessary?
In essence, revenge is an attempt to conduct a "second round", while it is obvious to everyone that the first battle has already been lost. In most cases, revenge is an inadequate response to defeat, associated with offended pride or self-conceit. Of course, there are cases that simply cannot be forgiven, but their number is not that great.
The main problem with revenge is that, when deciding to take revenge, you experience many negative emotions: anger, resentment, irritation. At the same time, your abuser is either already worried about his actions, or already has time to forget about it. In any case, your expenditure of strength, nerves and energy is likely to be many times higher than the negative emotions that your revenge will provoke in the offender.
Finally, from an objective point of view, revenge looks pretty silly: imagine a football player who, after the end of a lost match, seeks to score a goal. In fact, the thirst for revenge forces you to live in the past, not the future, because you cannot forget the offense once inflicted on you, and are forced to experience it over and over again. Perhaps it would be much better to accept the fact that the past cannot be changed, which means that it is necessary to focus on the future.
An example of perfect revenge is considered by many to be the story of the Count of Monte Cristo, which, however, describes a man who spent most of his life in revenge.
Rational approach to retaliation
If your desire for revenge beats the rational approach, at least you need to act thoughtfully. It is no coincidence that there is a popular expression that "revenge is a dish that is served cold." The point is that an attempt at retaliation made solely "on emotions" is likely to fail, and you will find yourself in an offensive and ridiculous position. Therefore, first of all, you need to calm down and wait, trying to reduce the degree of emotions to a minimum.
Define your task clearly: do you want your debtor to experience the same or disproportionately large experience? Do you intend to enjoy the feeling of victory one-time, or are you going to poison your opponent as long as possible? What are you willing to sacrifice, and what will make you abandon your plans for revenge? It is imperative that you answer all of these questions for your revenge to be meaningful and effective.
Thirst for victory is a sign of self-doubt. Truly great people don't need constant proof of their strength.
You will need time to prepare and gather information. Find out the weaknesses of your abuser, his habits, values, principles. It often happens that things that are invaluable to one person do not make the slightest sense to another, so you should not mindlessly reproduce what offended you. Also, keep the penal code in mind when planning revenge. Going to jail to enjoy revenge is a very impractical solution. Finally, you should not do anything irreparable, take revenge on loved ones, build Napoleonic plans to take revenge on a person who accidentally stepped on your foot. Be as pragmatic as possible, and you may end up with a rational conclusion that revenge is not the best possible option.
