Asking a man for help so that he not only hears the request, but also fulfills it is a great art. At the same time, tact, wisdom, perseverance are required from a woman. How to properly voice your desires so as not to deprive yourself of male support?
Why is it difficult to ask
In a harmonious relationship, a man and a woman openly express their thoughts and feelings, care and support each other. Asking for help in such a relationship is natural. But sometimes it turns out that it is easier for a woman to solve some of the questions herself than to ask a man about it. There are several simple explanations for this fact:
- a woman has the hope that a man will show sensitivity and attention, notice women's desires or difficulties and offer her help himself;
- monitoring the family life of the parents (if the mother did everything herself, it is highly likely that the daughter will also show independence in relations with her partner);
- pride: a woman believes that requests humiliate her, make her worse, make her dependent on a man;
- lack of male reaction to previous requests;
- confidence that a woman can do everything herself.
At the same time, problems arise in the relationship that might not exist.
When making a request, one should …
Formulate your thought clearly. In their perception of reality, men are guided by logic. Therefore, in women's requests, they hear only what is said. No hints, facial expressions, changes in voice intonations work in this case. Therefore, the request should be formulated specifically, voiced in a soft voice in a calm atmosphere.
Repeat requests several times. A man can perform only one task at a time. If the request is voiced at a time when his thoughts are busy with something, the answer may not be received. Therefore, you need to ask a man when his attention is focused on you. In the event that the request is not fulfilled, you must repeat it again. Perhaps the last time men's thoughts were busy solving an important problem, and the request for help went unnoticed. This is where female perseverance and tact will come in handy.
Dispense errands. A man can remember and fulfill only one request in a qualitative way. If you need him to carry out several assignments, they need to be voiced gradually, after the previous one has been completely completed.
Give time to react. After the request is uttered, the man needs time to think about the best way to do it. Don't wait for a lightning-fast reaction. You should show patience, do not rush to solve the problem on your own, but give your partner the opportunity to do everything as he sees fit and best.
Create comfortable conditions. A man will show the most favorable reaction to a request if all his physiological needs are satisfied. A well-fed, calm, rested man, who feels his need and attractiveness, is more agreeable. He fulfills the requests of a woman who instilled in him a sense of his own importance.
Show weakness and femininity. Asking a man for help, the lady makes him understand that she cannot cope with the problem on her own. This encourages the man to show his best qualities of a defender and professional in any business. Helping a woman, fulfilling her request (if it is feasible, of course) is a good opportunity for a man to show his best side. And he will use it with pleasure.
Prepare for rejection. In the event that a man does not consider it possible to fulfill the request, he has the right to say so. This is the essential difference between a request and an order. An adequate response to a refusal leaves a woman a chance for a man to fulfill the following requests, if any. Reproaches, scandals and accusations put a man in an awkward position, encourage him to negatively relate to the woman herself and her requests.
Thank you for doing it. You should always praise your partner for fulfilling a request! Even if heroic efforts were not required of him, if he did not do everything the way he wanted. Any request fulfilled must be followed by a sincere gratitude. This will be a powerful motivation for a man to be more willing to comply with subsequent requests.
Do men need it?
Women's requests are, without a doubt, important to men. To be needed is one of the basic psychological needs. And a wise woman makes it possible to satisfy this need. She becomes the one that really needs the care and attention of this particular man. He takes responsibility for women's well-being. In such a relationship, the best male qualities are realized. He strives for self-development. Relationship with a woman is gaining more and more value for him. And this is important for both partners.
