With each new day, more and more couples decide to live in a civil marriage, without starting a family, without obligations. Guys believe that a wedding is an irreparable step in their life, depriving them of freedom, and to some extent they are right. Girls dream of staying young and independent, and that's not bad. But what if two people disagree with each other?
Most often, women dream of marriage and security, while men dream of freedom and prospects. And the lovers, not finding a compromise, disperse, sometimes regretting this decision for the rest of their lives.
What is family?
Family is one of the most important achievements in a person's life. And it's good when both understand this. Some time after the wedding, people get used to each other and get used to the comfort of constant support. Spouses allocate their time, decide where to spend money, share responsibilities and bed. Sometimes, even after the baby is born, there is no change in the relationship.
The worst thing is when life becomes boring and gray turns into a routine banality. Cleaning the apartment or joint activities, walks and hobbies - everything ceases to bring the same joy. What is the reason?
The “geography” of family problems is immense, as is its “arithmetic”. Loneliness together, three, ten - no matter the number of people around, the area of residence is unimportant, the options for difficulties are endless, but the root of troubles is always the same - the inability to say "we". Distrust, hidden reproaches, attempts to deceive and cheat.
Causes of discord
The thing is that someone is tired of the routine, and he wants to achieve more in life. But admitting this is scary, and while a confidential conversation about development is postponed, the life partner becomes an increasingly heavy "weight" that annoys and supposedly interferes with moving forward. But is it?
After all, for someone the most important thing is stability and habits - happiness, replaced by well-being and comfort, leaving the zone fraught with … Development? Change? Change is frightening, especially for women, who usually feel much more responsible for their children than men.
There is a wonderful definition of love attributed to Saint-Exupery: "To love is not to look at each other, to love is to look together in the same direction." it is necessary to go forward, at least for the sake of children, opening up new possibilities for the realization of any of your dreams. But stability with comfort can not be lost at the same time. Finding a delicate balance between vigorous activity and relaxation is possible if there is trust, frankness and a desire to understand and forgive a mistake.
Do not forget: if you have already decided to embark on the family path, then make up your mind and walk it confidently, learn from each other, and do not assert yourself at the expense of your life partner, do not try to decide who is smarter and more useful, find common goals and affairs and openly discuss together everything that happens in the life of every loved one, even negative emotions and feelings.
Remember the main thing: there is no selfish “I” in a family; the word “we” should be the main thing. This is the only way to maintain a long-term relationship and trust, which can reveal to you all the shades of happiness, with its fullness of the acuteness of emotions, anxiety, tenderness, cares and love.
